


Over the Rainbow and So Far from Home

by whimsicalwhims



Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-07-07
Updated: 2007-07-07
Packaged: 2017-12-08 05:57:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/757874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whimsicalwhims/pseuds/whimsicalwhims
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Earth is Cam's home but it's not John's.  Not anymore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Over the Rainbow and So Far from Home

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [How We Spent Our Summer Vacation](https://archiveofourown.org/works/76008) by [Medie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Medie/pseuds/Medie). 



> **Timeline:** Return Part 1  
>  **Archive Rights:** No. Please do not take this story and post it elsewhere.  
>  **Disclaimer:** I do not own SG-1, SGA, or any of the characters and situations depicted on the shows. No profit is being made from this and no infringement is intended.  
>  **Summary:** This is a remix of medie's "How We Spent Our Summer Vacation" for the gateverse_remix.

“Are you sure you want Colonel Sheppard’s team for backup?” Landry asks, pulling Cam aside before they reach the gate room.

“We may need him, sir.” Cam rechecks sidearm one more time. “Sheppard knows Major Lorne better than I do. If Major Lorne and his team really are in trouble, Sheppard stands a better chance of finding him than anyone else.”

Landry nods, and Cam doesn’t need to be a mind reader to know what he’s thinking. SG-19, the team that’s been under Sheppard’s command this past week and a half, has had some truly spectacular mishaps. Though to be fair--and Cam remembers reading through all of the personnel files not that long ago--they gave Sheppard the leftover misfits, the men that no one quite knew what to do with. Cam half suspects that Landry wants Sheppard to fail; he knows that it makes Landry nervous, having Sheppard around. Sheppard may only be a lieutenant colonel, but up until recently, he was the military commander of an entire city. It’s no coincidence that Sheppard’s marines have all been assigned to different teams; many aren’t even stationed at the SGC anymore. 

Cam knows--the same way he knows that Jackson won’t be able to get through this fight with the Ori without doing something amazingly stupid--that Sheppard and the majority of the Atlantis expedition would head back to the Pegasus Galaxy at a moment’s notice if they were given half a chance. They’ve made a home for themselves on the other side of the universe, and Cam gets that this makes the higher-ups uneasy. Cam saw how out of place both the marines and scientists looked as they stepped back through the gate, the way they automatically turned to Sheppard for direction. Cam watched Landry take this all in, but Landry has yet to realize what Cam figured out the first time he stepped through the gate with SG-1: that chains of command at the SGC only exist on paper.

So regardless of what Landry thinks of Sheppard’s abilities or his loyalties, Sheppard’s earned his people’s trust, and for the moment, that’s all Cam really needs to know. Besides, Cam thinks as he joins the rest of SG-1, he’d rather have someone he knows watching his six any day of the week--even if that someone in question is his quasi-ex-boyfriend.

*

The Olanans are lizard people. Cam knew this from the briefing--though he has to admit that he tuned out most of what Jackson said about evolutionary processes and how very interesting it is that both humans and the Olanans are bipedal--but seeing them in person is another story. Cam supposes it’s a sign he’s been a part of SG-1 for awhile now that his reaction is more along the lines of amazement as opposed to Captain Wallace’s freaked-out stare.

“Captain,” Sheppard says, his tone hinting at the repercussions someone under his command will face if they don’t pull themselves together. “Is there going to be a problem?”

“No, sir,” Wallace answers, drawing his eyes away from their guide’s forked tongue.

“Good,“ Sheppard says, smiling at Cam, and for a moment Cam’s transported back to Afghanistan, to the desert heat and frantic hand jobs in the middle of a war zone.

 _Shit._ Knock it off, Shaft, Cam tells himself. He hasn’t let himself think of those days in a long time, locking them away with the memories of never-ending nights spent in the hospital, trying to will his legs to move as he wondered why Sheppard hadn’t come to see him yet. Not even a phone call. And wow, the fact that Cam’s apparently still thinking about that is probably a sign that he really needs to get his mind back on the mission and stop thinking about whether or not it was ever more than sex.

Their Olanan guide, who is supposed to be leading them to Major Lorne’s last known location, doesn’t look very happy, if all that tail swishing is anything to go by. He’s speaking to Jackson in a mixture of garbled English and hissing--and now Cam’s making a mental note to remember to tease Jackson about adding Parselmouth to his resume. Cam’s catching the occasional word, but considering that those words consist of “Ori,” and “war,” Cam’s not too pleased at the moment either.

Jackson bows his head to the Olanan and turns to the group. “Many of the Olanan don’t want to accept the Ori as their gods.”

“Well that’s good news,” Sheppard says slowly, clearly waiting for the punch line.

“It is, isn’t it?” Jackson shakes his head. “Unfortunately, the rest of the Olanan have decided to embrace Origin. Their civilization is fast eroding into chaos, and it seems that a civil war is inevitable at this point.”

Vala‘s mouth draws tight. “Surely there’s something we can do to prevent an all out war,” she says.

Jackson turns back to the Olanan, apparently clarifying a translation. But Cam already knows that it’s bad even before he hears the words. Jackson’s shoulders are slumped and the man looks exhausted as he tells them, “The fighting has already started.”

“Our orders stand then.” Sometimes Cam really hates having to be the voice of reason. “We rescue SG-23 and try to extract Jonas Quinn.” 

Cam doesn’t say what he knows they’re all thinking as they start to move again: SG-23 is eight hours overdue in the middle of a war zone and they haven’t heard from Quinn in weeks.

*

They split up when they get to the town. Cam goes with Sam and Jackson to try to find the house that was Quinn’s last known location, leaving Teal’c and Vala to assist Sheppard’s team. 

Sheppard gives him that “Don’t you trust me?” look when Cam divides SG-1. 

“In case you walk into an ambush,” Cam says, not wanting to have to explain that it’s Sheppard’s team Cam doesn’t quite trust. It’s not about not being able to do the job--they’ve all been approved for SG teams after all. No, it’s just that Cam doesn’t know if they’ll be able to curb Sheppard’s self-sacrificing tendencies, should the need arise. Teal’c, on the other hand, has spent most of the past ten years working with Jackson, and he knows all of the warning signs.

Three hours, five miles, and two shoot-outs later, they finally find Quinn. He’s helping a group of Olanans secure supplies. Cam hadn’t expected to be greeted with a red carpet and marching band, but he has to admit that the zat Quinn points in his face does surprise him.

Quinn lowers the zat when he sees Sam and Jackson, and Cam mentally kicks himself for being so sloppy. It’s the type of mistake a rookie would make, forgetting that just because Cam knows Quinn from the mission reports doesn’t mean that Quinn will be able to distinguish him from friend or foe. Cam can just imagine having to explain that one to General Landry: “Sorry I got shot, sir; I’ve been distracted by thoughts of Sheppard.” Yeah, that would go over well.

Jackson’s talking to Quinn about coming back with them. Quinn’s reluctant to leave, and for a moment, Cam wonders if they’ll have to use force. Quinn knows too much about the SGC, about Earth, and it would be a really bad thing for all involved if he were to fall into Ori hands. But Cam was forgetting about Jackson’s powers of persuasion, and Quinn agrees to return to Earth with them.

When they get back to the gate, Cam has to remind himself not to smile like an idiot. Sheppard has found Lorne’s team and all personnel are accounted for. No injuries either, which is nothing sort of miraculous, considering that’s it’s all too obvious from the dirt-marked clothing and the empty clips on the ground that both teams have seen recent action. 

“Any problems?” Cam asks.

“Nothing we couldn’t handle,” Sheppard says with a grin.

Cam chooses to ignore Major Lorne’s choked laugh.

*

McKay’s at the SGC when they return.

“Where’s a lemon when you need one?” Cam mutters, quietly enough so that only Sheppard can hear him. He expects Sheppard to smirk or something, not look at him as though Cam’s offered to kick his favorite puppy.

“Colonel!” McKay calls, and Cam has to refrain from rolling his eyes. Really, yelling “Colonel” in the middle of the gate room is almost like a little kid yelling for “Mom” in the middle of a store. 

Cam is almost ready to admit--if only to himself--that he _might_ be being a little petty. But then Sheppard slaps him on the shoulder, says “I’ll see you later,” and rushes off to join McKay. No, not petty at all, and Teal’c can just keep his silent laughter to himself.

*

It’s another week before Cam is finally able to get Sheppard alone for more than a minute. Of course, Cam hadn’t been expecting to see him sitting on a bench in the locker room of all places, dressed in civvies and staring at his locker as though it held all of the secrets of the universe. Cam has seen dozens of looks on Sheppard--confident, angry, scared, sleepy, playful--but Cam’s never seen him look so _lost_ before.

“Shouldn’t you be getting home?” The moment the words leave Cam’s mouth, he wants to call them back. Though it shouldn’t come as that much of a surprise at this point, he thinks. He does have a history of losing finesse points when it comes to dealing with Sheppard.

Sheppard laughs, and it’s a horrible sound. And Cam doesn’t have a pair of ruby slippers to offer him, so he does what Sheppard did the night after Cam destroyed the civilian convoy: He kisses Sheppard--John--because while pain may remind you that you’re still alive, touch reminds you that you’re still human.

John’s so still at first, and Cam begins to wonder if maybe he’s made a terrible mistake. It’s awkward as hell: standing there with his lips pressed against John’s, hands clenched at his side because Cam’s afraid that if he moves, John will bolt. Cam’s about to step away with the hope that maybe one day, in the very distant future, they’ll be able to laugh about this moment, when John grabs Cam’s shoulders, pulls him closer, and then--

 _Oh._

Cam had forgotten that John kisses with the same intensity he brings to his flying--lips and tongue and just a hint of teeth. A part of Cam’s brain--the part that’s not currently clouded by lust--knows that this is the height of stupidity, doing this in the middle of the locker room where anyone could see. 

But it’s not until John has him pressed against a locker that Cam’s able to gasp his request into John’s neck. “Come home with me tonight,” Cam says.

*

Cam hadn’t planned on blowing John in his truck.

It just sort of happened, the way that Cam’s starting to learn can just about describe everything John Sheppard related; somehow he doubts that Landry would except that excuse, though O’Neill would probably just laugh.

Cam should have known that somebody would drive by, though better Lorne--who had one of his own (female) officers with him--than Wallace or any other officer who would enjoy taking Cam and John down. Cam doesn’t think that Lorne actually saw anything, but he has to have some pretty strong suspicions by now. 

Cam knows John’s quietly freaking out, and Cam really doesn’t blame him. As soon as Cam saw Lorne’s car pull up beside them, Cam wanted to disappear, too.

“First McKay and Cadman, and now Lorne and Cho.” John shakes his head. “Sometimes I have to wonder why we even bother with the frat rules at all.” 

And himself and John, Cam silently adds, trying not to wonder why John doesn’t include themselves in that equation. 

The smartest thing--the safest thing--to do at this point would be to drop John off at his own apartment, then go home alone, order pizza or Chinese and catch the last half of the game.

But neither of them have gotten to the point they are now by operating with the safety on.

*

The sheet is tangled around Cam’s legs, but Cam can’t bring himself to care. Both he and John could use showers too, but that would involve actually getting out of bed. 

“I didn’t know that you’d been hurt at first,” John says, turning his head so that he’s facing Cam. “No one told me for weeks. And then,” he swallows, lightly running his hand along Cam’s bare arm. “And then, they wouldn’t let me in to see you. I didn’t have the clearance and I wasn’t family.”

“It’s okay,” Cam says, choosing to believe him because it’s easier that way.

*

Cam tries not to remember too much of his time in Afghanistan. But there are some good memories mixed in with the bad, and occasionally, he’s able to siphon those out. It’s not surprising that John features heavily in those memories. Cam remembers one night--tired of rations, of getting sand everywhere, and maybe even a little homesick--describing to John in tantalizing detail his grandma’s peach cobbler, and wondering what his grandma would say if he ever took John home to meet her. They swapped stories about growing up as military brats and argued over which baseball team would make it to the World Series that year.

They don’t talk about those things now. Cam tries to use his body to convey what he used to pour into words, and they have sex in every room in Cam’s apartment, until John collapses in a boneless heap on the bed and half-heartedly pushes Cam away. 

They talk about their missions and the Ori, and John tells Cam about a city that whispers its secrets to him. Cam never knew that it was possible to be jealous of a city before, but he knows that his own pillow talk can never compare.

People say that home is where the heart is. And if John’s heart is still in another galaxy, then maybe one day Cam will learn how to be okay with that, too.


End file.
